Time in a Bottle
by Tsaritza Mika
Summary: More often than not, it's the words left unsaid that can be the most important to those left behind


Alex wiped away the gathered moisture in her eyes before they fell, tentatively taking the offered tags from Galahad. His arm was bandaged and in a sling, and though he looked more than a little worse for wear, at least he'd come out of the conflict still breathing. That was already more than could be said for so many others. Nodding up to him with a weak smile, she held the tags in her palm reverently, treating them carefully despite the beating she knew they could take. "You're gonna be okay, Alex. Remember the miss said that there's always a spot on Bastard's stage for you, whenever you want."

"Ng, yeah... I know."

Watching her holding the tags, the focus she had on them, he couldn't say he didn't understand a little of what she might be feeling. No one, human or Twilight, ever got used to losing those closest to them. "You remember what I said, right? How to use it?"

"Ah, yeah. I do...just..."

Setting a large hand on her shoulder, he smirked sadly down to her, "I know. That faint hope that maybe if you don't, it won't be true. It's a major bitch."

Her frown deepened at that, needing to wipe at her eyes again before more tears fell. She hadn't felt this alone in a long time. "It's silly...but, you're right. He'd, be mad at me too...for getting this worked up over him."

"Yeah, probably. He'd be a bit of an asshole about it, then he'd go and do something nice and make everything complicated for no reason."

Alex choked out a short laugh, another few tears running down her cheeks as she nodded along with Gal's assessment. "Yeah...he liked, to tease people a lot..."

"Hm...well, I gotta head back. Still have a lot of work to do."

"Mm, alright. Sorry to have kept you."

"Eh it's fine. You gonna be okay staying here though? Cause if it's too much for you..."

"No, I want to stay. It...it's the closest I've ever felt to any kind of home."

"Okay. But if it ever gets too hard..."

Though still weak, Alex smiled back at him again, nodding as he waved his farewells and headed down the stairs. Turning to close the door, her frown came back as she looked out over the small living area. The desk she had spent so much time at, waiting for them to call or come home, it looked so large now to her. Glancing back down at the tags in her hand, she held them close to her as she walked around to sit on the couch that used to be her bed. It was odd, how quiet it was now, and another pang of sadness ran through her at knowing she wouldn't be able to welcome anyone else home anymore.

She had to take a few steadying breaths as she looked down at the tags, hesitating a moment at putting it in the small audio player Galahad had left with her. It was a bit of a long shot, especially since he never liked talking if he could avoid it, but if there was even the smallest chance that he had something to say, she wanted to hear it. Sliding the tag into the slot, she watched the small green light as it blinked rapidly, reading any information that might be there. When finally she caught a shift in sound, Alex's lips thinned, doing her best to hold back and listen.

"From West Gate, 8th District, Handyman, working with Worick Archangelo, Nicolas Brown. Ng, no witnesses. ...For Nina. Bank account number 10427953, pin, 2583..."

Alex held her breath as he spoke, the rough grind behind the voice making her own throat choke up with emotion. Catching the sound of him most likely drinking something, she hurried to grab a notepad and pen, writing down the numbers he'd spoken before and keeping them close in case she felt the need to write down anything else.

"My things don't matter. Sell them off or something... Someone take care of Betty... Wallace...I hope you get what you want. Sorry I couldn't be more useful and died. I promise it hurt. Hope that helps... ...Alex..."

Her heart skipped a beat, not even expecting to hear her name at all since she wasn't sure just when this recording had been done.

"...page number...sixty-two."

Catching the faint sound of the audio completing its play through, she blinked at what he had said to her, looking over to the bookcase and slowly standing to look it over. Her brow furrowed a moment as she stood before the books, confused as to just what book he may have been directing her to when it dawned on her. Nicolas had read many books, but she had only been reading one. Turning to step over to the desk, she carefully opened the battered sign language book, flipping to the page he'd said before the recording had cut out.

Tilting her head curiously, she found a small piece of paper folded and wedged between the pages, the rank pressed into his tag and an arrow pointing to the diagram on the right drawn on it. 'Police...?' Looking over to the tag still sitting in the audio player, she supposed that whatever it was he wanted her to know was going to be found out down at the police station. Pouting at the need to know what it was he wanted to say, she shook her head with a rueful smile. Seemed that even without him around, he liked messing with her.

Retrieving the tag from the audio player, she locked up behind her and pushed some hair over her shoulder as she began walking. It was so strange now, as if the city was still holding its breath in case the relative calm that had settled over it would be so easily shattered again so soon. Taking the main roads just to be safe, she frowned when she walked up the steps and into the police station, waiting for the older man at the podium to acknowledge her before asking for Inspector Chad.

Glad when she didn't have to wait long, she tried offering a smile to the older man, hands folded in front of her until her got close enough for her to speak to him. "Hello, Inspector. I'm, I'm really glad you're doing okay."

"Yeah... What is it you want Benedetto? I'm a busy man after all that bullshit."

"Ah, well...I'm sorry to have bothered you, but...I was, told to show you this..."

Glancing down at the tag in her hand, he grunted with a frown, sticking an unlit cigarette in his mouth and tilting his head for her to follow. "Come with me."

Alex followed closely as he lead her back, not really liking when they had to pass by the area where criminals waited to be processed. Carefully walking down the steps toward evidence storage and records, she did as she was told and stood back as Chad unlocked and entered one of the evidence cages, watching as he walked right to a spot on the shelves and pulled out a large file box. He dug around for a moment, pulling one out and setting it aside as he put the box back and leaning down to pick up a familiar looking katana.

Alex bit at her lip as she saw the blade in it's scabbard, hesitating when Chad came out and held it toward her. Carefully taking the sword and large file, she nodded her thanks, the familiar weight in her hands leaving her throat tight. "...thank you...thank you so much, for doing this, Inspector."

"He's just lucky you were interested enough to not wait too long. Once a Twilight is confirmed gone, so's all the recorded info on them. Like they never existed in the first place..."

Alex nodded with the man's words, holding the items close to her as she followed him back out and onto the street. Stepping over to a nearby alley, she kept the sword held close to her, carefully looking through the file she'd been given. A few police reports, some old wanted pictures of him and Worick from when they were younger had her smiling faintly. As always, Worick looked as if he knew everything, and Nicolas was a little roughed up and holding his information card crookedly. Almost ready to write it off as just another file, near the back she found an address with what looked to be either a mailbox or locker number of some kind.

Pouting slightly as she glanced over to the sword at her side, she sighed and whispered harshly to it, "You just _really_ like making people frustrated, don't you?" Chuckling ruefully to herself at the question she didn't expect an answer to, she studied the address once more, thinking about where it was in relation to where she was just then. Keeping a close hold on both the file and the sword, Alex turned back out onto the street and toward her destination, hoping that this would be the last stop in her trek around the city to find what it was Nicolas had apparently wanted her to know. He certainly had gone through a lot of trouble it seemed, what with gambling on the possibility that she would even ask Galahad if he could get hold of his tags and an audio player to hear the message.

Passing by the corner where she normally would have turned to go and see Nina and Theo, she made a mental note to herself to pocket the paper with the account number he mentioned in the recording. Nina deserved to know that of the few things he'd had thoughts of before his passing, that she was one of them. Alex paused as she turned another corner, shifting her hold to reach up and wipe at the fresh tears that threatened to fall again. Pressing on, her steps slowed as she looked around, coming up on the location that had been written down. Staring at the locker in question, she bit at her lip, realizing that he had brought her back to one of the first places she had ever gone with him...back when delivering medicine for Theo.

Thoughts of that day, things still awkward between them as she acclimated and tried to help without obstructing their business as Handymen...it had her choking up all over again. Taking a moment for herself to let it out rather than hold everything back, she took another deep breath when the strain had lessened, opening up the locker to find what was inside. Curiously, one of the last thing she had thought to pull out would have been a seemingly unmarked record folder with a record inside. Raising a brow, she found nothing else inside and looked at it again. Finding just the record to be in the large sleeve, she guessed that whatever he'd wanted for her was this, and she closed up the locker and turned back toward home.

Her steps grew heavier as she walked up the stairs, unlocking the door and looking out on the empty room. Sighing for what felt like the hundredth time that day alone, Alex went downstairs, pausing when she saw his chair against the wall and frowning at knowing he wouldn't be using it again soon. Going over to one of the storage rooms Worick had talked about, she dug out an old record player and set it up on the floor, leaning her back against his chair and taking the record out of the sleeve. Looking at it, she wondered for a moment if it mattered which side before supposing that perhaps the record would also follow the same line of thinking as the other few clues he'd left for her. Setting it up to play Side A, she brought up her knees as the needle ran along the grooves, listening as the song began to the strumming of a guitar, and what sounded like possibly a clock in the background behind everything else.

If I could save time in a bottle  
The first thing that I'd like to do  
Is to save every day till eternity passes away  
Just to spend them with you

As she listened to the soft voice singing, her jaw fell open at the implications behind the words. For all the trouble that he'd gone through to set this up, and everything she'd had to do just to find it...it made all the sense in the world once she thought about it. He had always been so closed off, keeping so many things to himself without ever giving them away, including how he really felt about things. All that time, that slow but steady closeness she'd felt toward him, had secretly been reciprocated. The words made a kind of cruel irony as well. Being a Twilight, Nicolas truly did have to live with time kept in a small orange bottle.

If I could make days last forever  
If words could make wishes come true  
I'd save every day like a treasure and then  
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time  
To do the things you want to do, once you find them  
I've looked around enough to know  
That you're the one I want to go through time with

Tears ran freely down her cheeks at that point, her chest feeling tight with emotion she'd held back during that entire day. Curling around herself, she just let it all out. Every tear, whimper and cry at the loss and emptiness she'd felt since the dust in Ergastulum had settled came out, and the biggest hole in her heart, left by the man she was afraid to tell her feelings for, ached the worst.

If I had a box just for wishes  
And dreams that had never come true  
The box would be empty, except for the memory of how  
They were answered by you

She cried for everything and everyone. All of those she knew who had suffered and lost during the crisis, the hurt and fear she'd felt for them and those she cared most for, and those she had seen suffering but was helpless to change. As much that had happened, Alex cried harder at the knowledge that she would gladly give anything to find herself waking up over the desk, the radio playing soft jazz music, and a tall blond with a goofy smile and his quiet, dark haired friend coming in through the front door.

But there never seems to be enough time  
To do the things you want to do, once you find them  
I've looked around enough to know  
That you're the one I want to go through time with

Whimpering softly as the song from the record came to a close, she let her legs fold down as she leaned back against the chair, Nicolas' chair, turning her head to breathe in what little scent of his might be left on the fabric. Doing that made her choke up again, but she didn't want to turn away, staying that way for a time as the silence settled over the large room again.

A while later, when she finally didn't feel as though she had anything left in her to cry just then, she reset the record and listened to it a few more times, a sad smile on her face as she carefully cuddled his katana to her side. Leaning over, she softly kissed the edge of the hand guard, closing her eyes as the soft sounds playing from the record filled the room. Leaving her such a thing, and having her do all that she did, it was strange at first. A little aggravating, confusing, caused Chad a headache, unexpected... Just like Nicolas was. Another soft whimper escaped her throat as she held the sword at her side, a sad smile on her face at the words he had left for her to find. "I...I'm so sorry, we never got that time Nicolas. But...the time we had...I wouldn't have traded it for the world..."


End file.
